Jump to content

chuck norris jokes/cracks


followme2b2

Recommended Posts

Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked someone so hard that his foot broke the speed of light, went back in time, and killed Amelia Earhart while she was flying over the Pacific Ocean.

 

Crop circles are Chuck Norris' way of telling the world that sometimes corn needs to lie down.

 

The Great Wall of China was originally created to keep Chuck Norris out. It failed miserably.

 

If you ask Chuck Norris what time it is, he always says, "Two seconds 'til." After you ask, "Two seconds 'til what?" he roundhouse kicks you in the face.

 

Chuck Norris drives an ice cream truck covered in human skulls.

 

When Chuck Norris sends in his taxes, he sends blank forms and includes only a picture of himself, crouched and ready to attack. Chuck Norris has not had to pay taxes, ever.

 

The quickest way to a man's heart is with Chuck Norris' fist.

 

Chuck Norris invented Kentucky Fried Chicken's famous secret recipe, with eleven herbs and spices. But nobody ever mentions the twelfth ingredient: Fear.

 

CNN was originally created as the "Chuck Norris Network" to update Americans with on-the-spot ass kicking in real-time.

 

There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures Chuck Norris allows to live.

Edited by followme2b2
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Chuck Norris is as tall as , ahh shit, what's that little fuckers name on fantasy Island.......you know, the plane the plane . well any way, he is as tall as the two roundhouse kicks he put on Bruce right before he GOT HIS ASS KICKED !!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

You know why you are in the deep south, cause chuck norris allows you to be there.

 

Chuck Norris is as tall as , ahh shit, what's that little fuckers name on fantasy Island.......you know, the plane the plane . well any way, he is as tall as the two roundhouse kicks he put on Bruce right before he GOT HIS ASS KICKED !!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Link to comment
Share on other sites

When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Chuck Norris

 

Chuck Norris secretly sleeps with every woman in the world once a month. They bleed for a week as a result

 

Some people wear Superman pajamas. Superman wears Chuck Norris pajamas

 

Chuck Norris once visited the Virgin Islands. They are now the Islands

 

Death once had a near Chuck Norris experience

 

Rosa Parks refused to get out of her seat, because she was saving it for Chuck Norris

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 4 weeks later...

Chuck Norris orderd a BigMac at KFC, and got one

if Chuck Norris ever fought himself, he'd win, period

If you have 5 dollers and Chuck Norris has 5 dollers, Chuck Norris has more money then u

ROFL!!! :yelrotflmao: :yelrotflmao: :yelrotflmao: :

Chuck Norris can touch MC Hammer.

If u dont get it serch: cant touch this

Edited by felcon edition banshee
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

Loading...
×
×
  • Create New...