fastbanshee8 Posted July 19, 2006 Report Share Posted July 19, 2006 A friend sent this to me, and I thought somebody else might like it. A girl from Kansas and a girl from the east coast were seated side by side on an airplane. The girl from Kansas, being friendly and all, said, "So, where ya from?" The east coast girl said, "From a place where they know better than to use a preposition at the end of a sentence." The girl from Kansas sat quietly for a few moments and then replied: "So, where ya from, bitch?" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hilarious Posted July 19, 2006 Report Share Posted July 19, 2006 Thats funny. Here's another. A man was constipated, so he decided to go to the doctor. The doctor examined him and explained, "I'm going to give you some suppositories. I'll insert one now, and then I'll give you another one for later this evening." Later that evening, the man asks has his wife to insert the suppository. She agrees reluctantly, then puts one hand on his shoulder and inserts the suppository. Suddenly, her husband shrieks, "Aahhhhh!" "What's wrong? Did I hurt you?" she asks. "No... I just realized that the doctor had both his hands on my shoulders!" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Animalman294 Posted July 19, 2006 Report Share Posted July 19, 2006 Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh the first one was funny....................... :yelrotflmao: The second one, well :baseball_bat: , what was he thinkin......................Ouch. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tithead Posted July 19, 2006 Report Share Posted July 19, 2006 they are both good. :yelrotflmao: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Animalman294 Posted July 20, 2006 Report Share Posted July 20, 2006 George Bush died and went to hell. The devil was waiting for him. "I'm not sure what to do," said the devil. "You're on my list but I have no room for you. You definitely have to stay here. I'm going to have to let someone else go. I've got three people here who weren't quite as bad as you. I'll let one of them go but you have to take their place. I'll even let you decide which of the three you Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
flipcarre Posted July 20, 2006 Report Share Posted July 20, 2006 There was a couple that had been married for 20 years. Every time they made love the husband always insisted on shutting off the light. Well, after 20 years the wife felt this was ridiculous. She figured she would break him out of this crazy habit. So one night, while they were in the middle of a wild, screaming, romantic session, she turned on the lights. She looked down and saw her husband was holding a battery-operated leisure device... a vibrator! Soft, wonderful and larger than a real one. She went completely ballistic. "You impotent bastard," She screamed at him, "How could you be lying to me all of these years? You better explain yourself!" The husband looks her straight in the eyes and says calmly: "I'll explain the toy . . . you explain the kids." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rustbag Posted July 20, 2006 Report Share Posted July 20, 2006 How To Beat A Speeding Ticket. A police officer pulls a guy over for speeding and has the following exchange: Officer: May I see your driver's license? Driver: I don't have one. It was revoked when I got my 5th DWI. Officer: May I see the registration for this vehicle? Driver: It's not my car. I stole it. Officer: The car is stolen? Driver: That's right. But come to think of it, I think I saw the registration in the glove box when I was putting my gun in there. Officer: There's a gun in the glove box? Driver: Yes sir. That's where I put it after I shot and killed the woman who owns this car and stuffed her in the trunk. Officer: There's a BODY in the TRUNK?!?!? Driver: Yes, sir. Hearing this, the officer immediately called his Captain. The car was quickly surrounded by police, and the Captain approached the driver to handle the tense situation: Captain: Sir, can I see your license? Driver: Sure. Here it is. It was valid. Captain: Whose car is this? Driver: It's mine, officer. Here's the registration. The driver owned the car. Captain: Could you slowly open your glove box so I can see if there's a gun in it? Driver: Yes, sir, but there's no gun in it. Sure enough, there was nothing in the glove box. Captain: Would you mind opening your trunk? I was told you said there's a body in it. Driver: No problem. Trunk is opened; no body. Captain: I don't understand it. The officer who stopped you said you told him you didn't have a license, stole the car, had a gun in the glovebox, and that there was a dead body in the trunk. Driver: Yeah, I'll bet the lying s.o.b. told you I was speeding, too! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Animalman294 Posted July 21, 2006 Report Share Posted July 21, 2006 :yelrotflmao: Those are good ones...................... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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