helldriver Posted August 11, 2006 Report Share Posted August 11, 2006 here is what I say JESUS SUCKS COCKS IN HELL -l- ohh, wait,,, Brookie might acuse me of STEALING that statement and changing it so it sounds like I wrote it :yelrotflmao: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
banshee04le Posted August 11, 2006 Report Share Posted August 11, 2006 [1] Paul, an apostle of Jesus Christ by the will of God, according to the promise of life which is in Christ Jesus, [2] To Timothy, my dearly beloved son: Grace, mercy, and peace, from God the Father and Christ Jesus our Lord. [3] I thank God, whom I serve from my forefathers with pure conscience, that without ceasing I have remembrance of thee in my prayers night and day; [4] Greatly desiring to see thee, being mindful of thy tears, that I may be filled with joy; [5] When I call to remembrance the unfeigned faith that is in thee, which dwelt first in thy grandmother Lois, and thy mother Eunice; and I am persuaded that in thee also. [6] Wherefore I put thee in remembrance that thou stir up the gift of God, which is in thee by the putting on of my hands. [7] For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind. [8] Be not thou therefore ashamed of the testimony of our Lord, nor of me his prisoner: but be thou partaker of the afflictions of the gospel according to the power of God; [9] Who hath saved us, and called us with an holy calling, not according to our works, but according to his own purpose and grace, which was given us in Christ Jesus before the world began, [10] But is now made manifest by the appearing of our Saviour Jesus Christ, who hath abolished death, and hath brought life and immortality to light through the gospel: [11] Whereunto I am appointed a preacher, and an apostle, and a teacher of the Gentiles. [12] For the which cause I also suffer these things: nevertheless I am not ashamed: for I know whom I have believed, and am persuaded that he is able to keep that which I have committed unto him against that day. [13] Hold fast the form of sound words, which thou hast heard of me, in faith and love which is in Christ Jesus. [14] That good thing which was committed unto thee keep by the Holy Ghost which dwelleth in us. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
helldriver Posted August 11, 2006 Report Share Posted August 11, 2006 (edited) lyrics froma great band called DEICIDE 4. Kill The Christian You are the one we despise Day in day out your words compromise lives I will love watching you die Soon it will be and by your own demise Buried in hypocrisy Lacerate your faith in god Morally diseased On the cross of Calvary your body bashed, defeated, stabbed Blessing as you hate Loyal to your enemies Monetary faith As him you'll pay for the lies of your prophecy Satan wants you dead Kill the christian, kill the christian Kill the christian, kill the christian Kill the christian, kill the christian Kill the christian Armies of darkness unite Destroy their temples and churches with fire Where in his world will you hide Sentenced to death, the anointment of christ In due time your path leads to me Put you out of your misery The death of prediction Kill the christian Kill the christian DEAD!!! Edited August 11, 2006 by helldriver Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
warwgn Posted August 11, 2006 Author Report Share Posted August 11, 2006 This morning there was a knock at my door. When I answered the door I found a well groomed, nicely dressed couple. The man spoke first: John: "Hi! I'm John, and this is Mary." Mary: "Hi! We're here to invite you to come kiss Hank's ass with us." Me: "Pardon me?! What are you talking about? Who's Hank, and why would I want to kiss His ass?" John: "If you kiss Hank's ass, He'll give you a million dollars; and if you don't, he'll kick the shit out of you." Me: "What? Is this some sort of bizarre mob shake-down?" John: "Hank is a billionaire philanthropist. Hank built this town. Hank owns this town. He can do whatever He wants, and what he wants is to give you a million dollars, but he can't until you kiss his ass." Me: "That doesn't make any sense. Why..." Mary: "Who are you to question Hank's gift? Don't you want a million dollars? Isn't it worth a little kiss on the ass?" Me: "Well maybe, if it's legit, but..." John: "Then come kiss Hank's ass with us." Me: "Do you kiss Hank's ass often?" Mary: "Oh yes, all the time..." Me: "And has he given you a million dollars?" John: "Well no. You don't actually get the money until you leave town." Me: "So why don't you just leave town now?" Mary: "You can't leave until Hank tells you to, or you don't get the money, and he kicks the shit out of you." Me: "Do you know anyone who kissed Hank's ass, left town, and got the million dollars?" John: "My mother kissed Hank's ass for years. She left town last year, and I'm sure she got the money." Me: "Haven't you talked to her since then?" John: "Of course not, Hank doesn't allow it." Me: "So what makes you think he'll actually give you the money if you've never talked to anyone who got the money?" Mary: "Well, he gives you a little bit before you leave. Maybe you'll get a raise, maybe you'll win a small lotto, maybe you'll just find a twenty-dollar bill on the street." Me: "What's that got to do with Hank?" John: "Hank has certain 'connections.'" Me: "I'm sorry, but this sounds like some sort of bizarre con game." John: "But it's a million dollars, can you really take the chance? And remember, if you don't kiss Hank's ass he'll kick the shit of you." Me: "Maybe if I could see Hank, talk to Him, get the details straight from Him..." Mary: "No one sees Hank, no one talks to Hank." Me: "Then how do you kiss his ass?" John: "Sometimes we just blow him a kiss, and think of His ass. Other times we kiss Karl's ass, and he passes it on." Me: "Who's Karl?" Mary: "A friend of ours. He's the one who taught us all about kissing Hank's ass. All we had to do was take him out to dinner a few times." Me: "And you just took his word for it when he said there was a Hank, that Hank wanted you to kiss his ass, and that Hank would reward you?" John: "Oh no! Karl has a letter he got from Hank years ago explaining the whole thing. Here's a copy; see for yourself." ** From the desk of Karl ** Kiss Hank's ass and he'll give you a million dollars when you leave town. Use alcohol in moderation. Kick the shit out of people who aren't like you. Eat right. Hank dictated this list himself. The moon is made of green cheese. Everything Hank says is right. Wash your hands after going to the bathroom. Don't use alcohol. Eat your wieners on buns, no condiments. Kiss Hank's ass or he'll kick the shit out of you. Me: "This appears to be written on Karl's letterhead." Mary: "Hank didn't have any paper." Me: "I have a hunch that if we checked we'd find this is Karl's handwriting." John: "Of course, Hank dictated it." Me: "I thought you said no one gets to see Hank?" Mary: "Not now, but years ago he would talk to some people." Me: "I thought you said he was a philanthropist. What sort of philanthropist kicks the shit out of people just because they're different?" Mary: "It's what Hank wants, and Hank's always right." Me: "How do you figure that?" Mary: "Item 7 says 'Everything Hank says is right.' That's good enough for me!" Me: "Maybe your friend Karl just made the whole thing up." John: "No way! Item 5 says 'Hank dictated this list himself.' Besides, item 2 says 'Use alcohol in moderation,' Item 4 says 'Eat right,' and item 8 says 'Wash your hands after going to the bathroom.' Everyone knows those things are right, so the rest must be true, too." Me: "But 9 says 'Don't use alcohol.' which doesn't quite go with item 2, and 6 says 'The moon is made of green cheese,' which is just plain wrong." John: "There's no contradiction between 9 and 2, 9 just clarifies 2. As far as 6 goes, you've never been to the moon, so you can't say for sure." Me: "Scientists have pretty firmly established that the moon is made of rock..." Mary: "But they don't know if the rock came from the Earth, or from out of space, so it could just as easily be green cheese." Me: "I'm not really an expert, but I think the theory that the Moon was somehow 'captured' by the Earth has been discounted*. Besides, not knowing where the rock came from doesn't make it cheese." John: "Ha! You just admitted that scientists make mistakes, but we know Hank is always right!" Me: "We do?" Mary: "Of course we do, Item 7 says so." Me: "You're saying Hank's always right because the list says so, the list is right because Hank dictated it, and we know that Hank dictated it because the list says so. That's circular logic, no different than saying 'Hank's right because He says He's right.'" John: "Now you're getting it! It's so rewarding to see someone come around to Hank's way of thinking." Me: "But...oh, never mind. What's the deal with wieners?" Mary: She blushes. John: "Wieners, in buns, no condiments. It's Hank's way. Anything else is wrong." Me: "What if I don't have a bun?" John: "No bun, no wiener. A wiener without a bun is wrong." Me: "No relish? No Mustard?" Mary: She looks positively stricken. John: He's shouting. "There's no need for such language! Condiments of any kind are wrong!" Me: "So a big pile of sauerkraut with some wieners chopped up in it would be out of the question?" Mary: Sticks her fingers in her ears. "I am not listening to this. La la la, la la, la la la." John: "That's disgusting. Only some sort of evil deviant would eat that..." Me: "It's good! I eat it all the time." Mary: She faints. John: He catches Mary. "Well, if I'd known you were one of those I wouldn't have wasted my time. When Hank kicks the shit out of you I'll be there, counting my money and laughing. I'll kiss Hank's ass for you, you bunless cut-wienered kraut-eater." With this, John dragged Mary to their waiting car, and sped off. Would you kiss Hanks ASS?? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brooke Posted August 11, 2006 Report Share Posted August 11, 2006 ohh, wait,,, Brookie might acuse me of STEALING that statement and changing it so it sounds like I wrote it :yelrotflmao: it seems to be a habit of yours. and the only time you appear to have an IQ above toddler level. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
helldriver Posted August 11, 2006 Report Share Posted August 11, 2006 (edited) ok brooke will you fINALLY give us answer as to what one needs to become a bad ass since you claim you are a bad ass, or will you actuall admit , you were talking out of your ass as usual, or will you just dodge the question again Edited August 11, 2006 by helldriver Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brooke Posted August 11, 2006 Report Share Posted August 11, 2006 ok brooke will you fINALLY give us answer as to what one needs to become a bad ass since you claim you are a bad ass, or will you actuall asmit , you werewtalking out of your ass as usual ive answered you a million times, asking me over and over isnt gonna get you another answer, and wont distract anyone from knowing youre an idiot and a wannabe who tries to make himself look smart by stealing other peoples writing and tweaking it to sound like your own. youre not smart enough to grasp the concept of faith, or the bible. the only reason everyone here continues to try and explain it to you is because its too bleak and depressing to believe that someone could be so stupid. its fine to not believe in god and not believe what the bible says is true. but you dont have enough of an understanding of it all to argue your own case. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rkc Posted August 11, 2006 Report Share Posted August 11, 2006 ive answered you a million times, asking me over and over isnt gonna get you another answer, and wont distract anyone from knowing youre an idiot and a wannabe who tries to make himself look smart by stealing other peoples writing and tweaking it to sound like your own. youre not smart enough to grasp the concept of faith, or the bible. the only reason everyone here continues to try and explain it to you is because its too bleak and depressing to believe that someone could be so stupid. its fine to not believe in god and not believe what the bible says is true. but you dont have enough of an understanding of it all to argue your own case. nice assessment.....hope springs eternal Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
helldriver Posted August 11, 2006 Report Share Posted August 11, 2006 (edited) ive answered you a million times, asking me over and over isnt gonna get you another answer, and wont distract anyone from knowing youre an idiot and a wannabe who tries to make himself look smart by stealing other peoples writing and tweaking it to sound like your own. youre not smart enough to grasp the concept of faith, or the bible. the only reason everyone here continues to try and explain it to you is because its too bleak and depressing to believe that someone could be so stupid. its fine to not believe in god and not believe what the bible says is true. but you dont have enough of an understanding of it all to argue your own case. youve answerd nothing,, youre sounding as bad as the bible assholes and AVIODING the question you claimed you are a bad ass,,,, so i assumed you would know what one is... i gave an example of what I thought one was,, you said i was wrong,,, ok, so maybe i am,, but why cant you tell me what one is then? i mean you claiming youre more of a bad ass than me and all, cant you just give us ONE requirement that make you a bad ass? come brookie either back up what you calim, or shut the fuck up :yelrotflmao: Edited August 11, 2006 by helldriver Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brooke Posted August 11, 2006 Report Share Posted August 11, 2006 youve answerd nothing,, youre sounding as bad as the bible assholes and AVIODING the question you claimed you are a bad ass,,,, so i assumed you would know what one is... i gave an example of what I thought one was,, you said i was wrong,,, ok, so maybe i am,, but why cant you tell me what one is then? i mean you claiming youre more of a bad ass than me and all, cant you just give us ONE requirement that make you a bad ass? come brookie either back up what you calim, or shut the fuck up :yelrotflmao: for the millionth time, i never said i was a badass, i said i was probably more of a badass than you. like saying my grandma is probably more of a badass than you. i donno what makes someone a badass, but i know being a moron automatically disqualifies you. but again, this isnt distracting anyone from knowing how much of a poser loser you are. im sure everytime i catch you spouting bullshit you will ask me this same damn question. everytime you do, you look like more of a dense idiot. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
helldriver Posted August 11, 2006 Report Share Posted August 11, 2006 (edited) you said youre more of a bad ass than me,, i said ok, being that i have no idea what one is, and i never said I was one you did so you were talking about being or being MORE of a bad ass when you have no idea what one is huh yup it figures, POSER ahahahahahan Edited August 11, 2006 by helldriver Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brooke Posted August 11, 2006 Report Share Posted August 11, 2006 you said youre more of a bad ass than me,, i said ok, being that i have no idea what one is, and i never said I was one you did so you were talking about being or being MORE of a bad ass when you have no idea what one is huh yup it figures, POSER ahahahahahan too dumb to understand the insults thrown at you. ask me a million more times, and youll never get it. youre just using it as a distraction. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
helldriver Posted August 11, 2006 Report Share Posted August 11, 2006 (edited) ok than gimme a example of what makes one a bad ass i gave one, and you said I was wrong, maybe i was,, thats what i'd like to find out so lets hear youre take on it oh this should be good :yelrotflmao: Edited August 11, 2006 by helldriver Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
enFORCER Posted August 11, 2006 Report Share Posted August 11, 2006 How about some more song lyrics for this wonderful thread! No more! The craps rolls out your mouth again Havent changed, your brain is still gelatin Little whispers circle around your head Why dont you worry about yourself instead Who are you? where ya been? where ya from? Gossip is burning on the tip of your tongue You lie so much you believe yourself Judge not lest ye be judged yourself Holier than thou You are Holier than thou You are You know not Before you judge me take a look at you Cant you find somethig better to do Point the finger, slow to understand Arrogance and ignorance go hand in hand Its not who you are its who you know Others lives are the basis of your own Burn your bridges build them back with wealth Judge not lest ye be judged yourself Holier than thou You are Holier than thou You are You know not Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brooke Posted August 12, 2006 Report Share Posted August 12, 2006 ok than gimme a example of what makes one a bad ass i gave one, and you said I was wrong, maybe i was,, thats what i'd like to find out so lets hear youre take on it oh this should be good :yelrotflmao: too dumb to understand the insults thrown at you. ask me a million more times, and youll never get it. youre just using it as a distraction. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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