PUSH THE THROTTLE Posted April 18, 2006 Report Share Posted April 18, 2006 http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/tm_objectid=1...-name_page.html Mission Impossible star Cruise vows to eat placenta after birthBy Patrick Mulchrone TOM Cruise yesterday revealed his latest bizarre mission..to eat his new baby's placenta. Cruise vowed he would tuck in straight after girlfriend Katie Holmes gives birth, saying he thought it would be "very nutritious"........... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NYUK Posted April 18, 2006 Report Share Posted April 18, 2006 that`s just fuckin gross. he is a freak. i watched both my kids being born.against my will.there was nothing that made me say"hmmmmm a lil salt and pepper would make that afterbirth taste alllllllllright!" yeah, a lil paprika,some parsley and oregano flakes and we got a meal! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BenBB Posted April 18, 2006 Report Share Posted April 18, 2006 Uhhhh...ok Here's an exerpt from tshirthell.com's newsletter heh, with an interview w/Tom (click here): Retarded Fish in a Shallow Barrel There is big news from the world of Scientology. Scientology's most well-known face and its' biggest celebrity, Tom Cruise, has just become an OT VIII (Operating Thetan level 8), the highest OT level a Scientologist can reach. At this stage a Scientologist is capable of flying, can become invisible, read and control people's thoughts, move objects with his or her mind, and do virtually anything else that we mortals consider inconceivable. I wanted to talk to Cruise about this, so I decided to contact him. But before I could he called me up and said he'd be glad to do it. Then he told me to turn off the oven before cookies burned. Oh he's good. Anyway, Tom and I later met up at his compound. I'd give you a location, but Tom's compound is wherever his mind feels like creating it. So we met at a Dunkin' Donuts and I just let the beauty envelop me. Here is the conversation that took place. T-SHIRT HELL: Thanks for joining me here Tom. TOM CRUISE: You need not thank me, for we are all responsible for our own . . . things. TSH: Our own things? TC: Yes. TSH: Alright. So, tell me a little about your path to becoming an OT level . . . TC: An OT level 8? I knew you were going to say that. For Xenu has opened my mind's other mind. Now I can see that past, present and future are all intertwined. TSH: Yeah. And plus I told you that's what we were going to talk about. TC: Maybe Xenu has just made you think that you already told me, so that your mind is not blown by my awesome power. TSH: Okay, I can see where this is going. So Tom . . . TC: You may address me as Tom. TSH: (sigh) So, TOM . . . what was it like going from OT I to OT VIII? Tell me a little abo-- Why are you taking your pants off? TC: Xenu has willed it. Do not worry. I will blind your eyes to the power of a Level 8's body, so that you may not be blinded. TSH: Keep your pants on, you weird fuck! We're in the middle of Dunkin' Donuts, for God's sake! Oh, that's just great. You just made that little girl cry. TC: That little girl is being attacked by body thetans. I will sooth her by smearing her with Xenu's magical potion. (Tom begins masturbating near the little girl) DUNKIN' DONUTS MANAGER: What the fuck are you doing, you sick asshole! Get the fuck out of my store! (Tom strips down to nothing and starts rolling around in the donut display) TC: I'M FLYING! I'M FLYING! (With the help of two fellow employees, the Dunkin' Donuts manager pummels Tom Cruise and ejects him from the store. I go outside to finish the interview with a naked, bloody Tom Cruise) TSH: Well . . . thanks for the interview Tom. TC: No problem. You wanna come by the house later and tea-bag Katie? TSH: Sure. TC: See ya then. So that was my evening with Tom Cruise. All in all I was very pleased with the meeting. And I'm proud to announce that Tom pulled some strings, and for the low price of $100,000, I became an OT III. I haven't yet found inner-peace, but I've become really good at parallel-parking. Bye for now (p.s. - Katie's a biter). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bigboybanshee Posted April 18, 2006 Report Share Posted April 18, 2006 there was nothing that made me say"hmmmmm a lil salt and pepper would make that afterbirth taste alllllllllright!" yeah, a lil paprika,some parsley and oregano flakes and we got a meal! 503931[/snapback] Tom Cruise has lost it.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sp1tekiller Posted April 18, 2006 Report Share Posted April 18, 2006 He must be on some serious drugs! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cotton eyed Joe Posted April 18, 2006 Report Share Posted April 18, 2006 Retarded fish in a shallow barrel... Tom Cruise is a god damn mental case. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PUSH THE THROTTLE Posted April 18, 2006 Author Report Share Posted April 18, 2006 Here's an exerpt from tshirthell.com's newsletter heh, with an interview w/Tom 503936[/snapback] Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ellison445 Posted April 18, 2006 Report Share Posted April 18, 2006 Uhhhh...ok Here's an exerpt from tshirthell.com's newsletter heh, with an interview w/Tom (click here): 503936[/snapback] Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gipperz Posted April 18, 2006 Report Share Posted April 18, 2006 I think he's living in the movie " war of the worlds " someone should let him know the movies over. time to move on. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pipebomb Posted April 18, 2006 Report Share Posted April 18, 2006 Man, the last few years his grip on reality has gotten worse and worse. Soon he'll be like Michael Jackson. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PUSH THE THROTTLE Posted April 18, 2006 Author Report Share Posted April 18, 2006 yeah, a lil paprika,some parsley and oregano flakes and we got a meal! 503931[/snapback] Don't forget to ask for a side of douche. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
. Posted April 18, 2006 Report Share Posted April 18, 2006 I thought the woman was supposed to eat the placenta to replenish her iron? What a greedy bastard Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
helldriver Posted April 18, 2006 Report Share Posted April 18, 2006 hell yeah!! man thats awesome he has gained my respect!!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PolyKarbon Posted April 18, 2006 Report Share Posted April 18, 2006 I'd like to pinpoint the exact moment where he totally lost his fucking mind. He went from being a shitty actor, to being a retarded shitty actor really damn fast. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PolyKarbon Posted April 18, 2006 Report Share Posted April 18, 2006 Wiat wait wait, I had another idea. Why doesn't he just eat the baby, and raise the afterbirth? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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