PUSH THE THROTTLE Posted December 5, 2005 Report Share Posted December 5, 2005 A guy gets on a plane and finds himself seated next to a cute blonde. He immediately turns to her and makes his move. "You know," he says, "I've heard that flights will go quicker if you strike up a conversation with your fellow passenger. So let's talk." The blonde, who had just opened her book, closes it slowly and says to the guy, "What would you like to discuss?" "Oh, I don't know," says the guy. "How about nuclear power?" "OK," says the blonde. "That could be an interesting topic. But let me ask you a question first. A horse, a cow, and a deer all eat the same stuff-- grass. Yet the deer excretes little pellets, the cow turns out a flat patty, and the horse produces muffins of dried poop. Why do you suppose that is?" The guy is dumbfounded!! Finally he replies, "I haven't the slightest idea!" "So tell me," says the blonde, "How is it that you feel qualified to discuss nuclear power when you don't know shit?" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gargamel Posted December 5, 2005 Report Share Posted December 5, 2005 How do you know when a blonde is having a bad day?? She has a tampon behind her ear and she can't find her pencil. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ellison445 Posted December 5, 2005 Report Share Posted December 5, 2005 A Blonde who got a fishing rod for her birthday and decided to go ice fishing. So early the next morning she got all her gear and headed out. When she reached her destination she cut a hole in the ice and dipped the rod in. Then suddenly she heard a voice that said:"there's no fish in there". So she moves to another spot and cuts another hole, then the same voice spoke again and told her there were no fish there. So she moves again and the voice tells her there are no fish there. So she looks up and see's a man looking down at her. "How do you know there are no fish there?" So the man cooly says "Well first of all this is a hockey rink and you're going to have to pay for those holes. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
locogato11283 Posted December 5, 2005 Report Share Posted December 5, 2005 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tithead Posted December 5, 2005 Report Share Posted December 5, 2005 what do you call a blonde hanging up-side-down??? a brunette with bad breath! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
03LE Posted December 5, 2005 Report Share Posted December 5, 2005 What looks good behind a blondes ears..... her ankles Why do blondes wear panties.... they make good foot warmers Whats the difference between a blonde and a washing machine... you can drop your load in a washing machine and don't have to it follow you around for the next 9 months worried. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dinner Posted December 5, 2005 Report Share Posted December 5, 2005 (edited) these are all good what do you call blonde, brunette, blonde, brunette? Blond doing cart-wheels Edited December 5, 2005 by Dinner Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GREATDEAL Posted December 5, 2005 Report Share Posted December 5, 2005 Q: What do you call a blonde that dyes her hair brunette? A: Artificial Intelligence. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GREATDEAL Posted December 5, 2005 Report Share Posted December 5, 2005 There is a blonde a brunette and a redhead all hunting they all go out the first day the blonde with nothing the redhead with a rabbit and the brunette with a deer the red head is doumfounded and asks how the other two got there kills they both replied we followed the tracks and came up on our animals so it was still early in the day so the redhead gose back out and about two hours later all fucked up bleeding and broken bones every where the other two see this and ask what had happend and the blonde replies " Well I did like you and followed the tracks but I got hit by a train!!!!" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Motoman991 Posted December 5, 2005 Report Share Posted December 5, 2005 lol nice but the last joke about is messed up, you get the red head and the blonde screwed up in it Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
namshee Posted December 6, 2005 Report Share Posted December 6, 2005 a short skinny guy walks into a lesbian bar, orders a beer and sits down next to a 250 pound blonde with chains dangling all over her body. After his 3rd beer he turns to the blonde and barks (loud at enough for the all in the bar to hear) at her: "do you want to hear a blonde joke?" she looks at him and replies: " well, i used to be in jail after i killed a man for making a blonde comment. Our bouncer (also blonde) weighs in at 220 pounds and has a blacb belt in karate, the bar lady weighs almost 300 pounds and used to wrestle for her state, and lastly in the corner there a 4 more blondes who just arrived from boxing practise, all weighing in at 200 pounds or more. Are you sure you still want to tell the joke?" He looks at her for a moment and then says: " well, if i have to tell the joke 7 times , i might as well fuckin leave it !!" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ozosborne Posted December 6, 2005 Report Share Posted December 6, 2005 Oh man! I'm going to fall off my chair! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dave95.1 Posted December 16, 2005 Report Share Posted December 16, 2005 January - Took new scarf back to store because it was too tight. February - Fired from pharmacy job for failing to print labels..."duh"...bottles won't fit in typewriter!!! March - Got excited...finished jigsaw puzzle in 6 months...box said "2-4 years!" April - Trapped on escalator for hours...power went out!!! May - Tried to make Kool-Aid...8 cups of water won't fit into those little packets!!! June - Tried to go water skiing...couldn't find a lake with a slope. July - Lost breast stroke swimming competition...learned later, other swimmers cheated, they used their arms!!! August - Got locked out of car in rain storm...car swamped, because top was down. September - The capital of California is "C"...isn't it??? October - Hate M &M's...they are so hard to peel. November - Baked turkey for 4 1/2 days...instructions said one hour per pound and I weigh 108!!! December - Couldn't call 911..."duh"...there's no "eleven" button on the phone!!! What a year!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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