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Two Jokes for you folks


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A 6 year old and a 4 year old are upstairs in their bedroom.

 

"You know what?" says the 6 year old. "I think it's about time

 

we started cussing." The 4 year old nods his head in approval.

 

The 6 year old continues, "When we go downstairs for breakfast,

 

I'm gonna say something with 'f*ck' and you say something with 'a$s'.

 

The 4 year old agrees with enthusiasm. When their mother walks

 

into the kitchen and asks the 6 year old what he wants for breakfast,

 

he replies, "Aw, f&ck, Mom, I guess I'll have some f%ckin Cheerios.

 

" WHACK! He flies out of his chair, tumbles across the kitchen floor,

 

gets up, and runs upstairs crying his eyes out, with his mother in hot

 

pursuit, slapping his rear with every step.

 

His mom locks him in his room and shouts, "You can just stay there until

 

I let you out!" She then comes back downstairs, looks at the 4 year old

 

and asks with a stern voice, "And what do YOU want for breakfast, young

 

man?" "I don't know," he blubbers, "but you can bet your a$s it

 

won't be Cheerios

 

 

 

 

 

The train was quite crowded, so the you.S. Marine walked the entire length

 

looking for a seat, but the only seat left was taken by a well-dressed

 

middle-aged French woman's poodle. The war-weary Marine asked, "Ma'am, may I have that seat?"

 

The French woman just sniffed and said to no one in particular, "Americans

 

are so rude. My little Fifi is using that seat." The Marine walked the

 

entire train again, but the only seat left was under that dog. "Please,

 

ma'am. May I sit down? I'm very tired."

 

She snorted, "Not only are you Americans rude, you are also arrogant!" This time the Marine didn't say a word, he just picked up the little dog,

 

tossed it out the train window, and sat down.

 

The woman shrieked, "Someone must defend my honor! Put this American in his place!"

 

An English gentleman sitting nearby spoke up, "Sir, you Americans often seem

 

to have a penchant for doing the wrong thing. You hold the fork in the wrong

 

hand. You drive your autos on the wrong side of the road.

 

And now, sir,... you've thrown the wrong bitch out the window."

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