A couple Jokes, The bottle of Merlot

[Ducman]

The Bottle of Merlot

 

A man entered his favorite restaurant and sat at his regular table. After looking around, he noticed a gorgeous woman sitting at a table nearby all alone. He motioned the waiter over and asked him to send their most expensive bottle of Merlot over to the woman, knowing that if she accepted the bottle, she would be his. The waiter took the Merlot to the woman and said, "This is from the gentleman seated over there," indicating the sender. She regarded the wine coolly for a second, not looking at the man, And decided to send a reply note to the man. The waiter, who was lingering for a response, took the note from

her and conveyed it to the gentleman. The note read: "For me to accept this bottle, you need to have a Mercedes in your garage, a million dollars in the bank, and 7 inches in your pants."

 

After reading the note, the man decided to compose one of his own in return He folded the note, handed it to the waiter and instructed him to return this to the woman. It read: "For your information, I have a Ferrari Maranello, a BMW Z8, a Mercedes CL600 and a Porsche Turbo in my garage. There is over twenty million dollars in my bank account. But, not even for a woman as beautiful as you would I cut three inches off. Just send the bottle back, Bitch."

 

 

 

Heartwarming Story of Construction Workers

 

Here's a heartwarming story about the bond formed between a little girl and

some construction workers. This will make you believe that we CAN make a

difference when we give a child the gift of your time...

 

A young family moved into a house next door to a vacant lot. One day, a

construction crew came in and began building a house on the empty lot. The family's 5-year-old daughter became interested in all the activity and

spent much of each day observing the workers.

 

Eventually, the construction crew more or less adopted her as a project

mascot. They chatted with her, let her sit with them while they took coffee

and lunch breaks, and gave her little jobs to do here and there to make her

feel important.

 

At the end of the first week, the men presented her with a pay envelope

which contained $2.00. The little girl took this home to her mother, who

said all the appropriate words of admiration, and suggested that they take

the money she received to the bank to start a savings account.

 

When they talked to the bank teller, she was equally impressed and asked

the little girl how she had earned her very own pay check at such a young age.

The child proudly replied, "I worked last week with the crew building the

house next door to us."

 

"My goodness gracious," said the teller, "and will you be working on the

house again this week, too?"

 

The little girl replied, "I will if those assholes at Home Depot ever

deliver the fuckin' sheet rock..."

 

Kinda brings a tear to the eye......

 

[PUSH THE THROTTLE]

[broke]

The little girl replied, "I will if those assholes at Home Depot ever

deliver the fuckin' sheet rock..."

 

What's funny is, kids really do things like that.

[Ducman]

Yeah, I have a new baby girl due in 1 month and I have to clean up the F's and S's in my language pretty soon!

[moto4man350]

sounds like my nephew.....gotta love kids like that.

[CobraFromHell]

Good Shit

[sheerider11]

thats funny

[locogato11283]