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Dictionary For Women's Personal Ads

 

40-ish............................................49

 

Adventurous.................................Slept with everyone

 

Athletic......................................No tits

 

Average looking..................................Ugly

 

Beautiful.......................Pathological liar

 

Contagious Smile..................Does a lot of pills

 

Emotionally Secure......................On medication

 

Feminist..........................................Fat

 

Free spirit....................................Junkie

 

Friendship first..........................Former slut

 

Fun..........................................Annoying

 

New-Age................Body hair in the wrong places

 

Open-minded.................................Desperate

 

Outgoing........................Loud and Embarrassing

 

Passionate...............................Sloppy drunk

 

Professional....................................Bitch

 

Voluptuous...................................Very Fat

 

Large frame................................Hugely Fat

 

Wants Soul mate...............................Stalker

 

 

DICTIONARY OF WOMEN'S ENGLISH:

 

1. Yes = No

 

2. No = Yes

 

3. Maybe = No

 

4. We need = I want..

 

5. I am sorry = you'll be sorry

 

6. We need to talk = You're in trouble

 

7. Sure, go ahead = You better not

 

8. Do what you want = You will pay for this later

 

9. I am not upset = Of course I am upset, you moron!

 

10. You're certainly attentive tonight = Is sex all

you ever think about?

 

DICTIONARY OF MEN'S ENGLISH:

 

1. I am hungry = I am hungry

 

2. I am sleepy = I am sleepy

 

3. I am tired = I am tired

 

4. Nice dress = Nice cleavage!

 

5. I love you = Let's have sex now

 

6. I am bored = Do you want to have sex?

 

7. May I have this dance? = I'd like to have sex

with you

 

8. Can I call you sometime? = I'd like to have sex

with you

 

9. Do you want to go to a movie? = I'd like to have

sex with you

 

10. Can I take you out to dinner? = I'd like to have

sex with you

 

11. I don't think those shoes go with that outfit = I'm gay

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