Slammin Full Bore Posted May 25, 2005 Report Share Posted May 25, 2005 This guide will help you discover just how bad your hang over is, enjoy One Star Hangover (*) No pain. No real feeling of illness. You're able to function relatively well. However, you are still parched. You can drink 5 cokes and still feel this way. For some reason, you are craving a steak & fries. Two Star Hangover (**) No pain, but something is definitely amiss. You may look okay, but you have the mental capacity of a staple gun. The coffee you are chugging is only increasing your rumbling gut, which is still tossing around the fruity pancake from the 3:00 AM Waffle House excursion. There is some definite havoc being wreaked upon your bowels. Three Star Hangover (***) Slight headache. Stomach feels crappy. You are definitely not productive. Anytime a girl walks by you gag because her perfume reminds you of the flavored schnapps shots your alcoholic friends dared you to drink. Life would be better right now if you were home in your bed watching Lucy reruns. You've had 4 cups of coffee, a gallon of water, 3 iced teas and a diet Coke --- yet you haven't peed once. Four Star Hangover (****) Life sucks. Your head is throbbing. You can't speak too quickly or else you might puke. Your boss has already lambasted you for being late and has given you a lecture for reeking of booze. You wore nice clothes, but that can't hide the fact that you only shaved one side of your face. For the ladies, it looks like you put your make-up on while riding the bumper cars. Your eyes look like one big red vein, and even your hair hurts. Your sphincter is in perpetual spasm, and the first of about five shits you take during the day! brings water to the eyes of everyone who enters the bathroom. Five Star Hangover (*****) You have a second heartbeat in your head, which is actually annoying the employee who sits in the next cube. Vodka vapor is seeping out of every pore and making you dizzy. You still have toothpaste crust in the corners of your mouth from brushing your teeth in an attempt to get the remnants of the poop fairy out. Your body has lost the ability to generate saliva so your tongue is suffocating you. You don't have the foggiest idea who the hell the stranger was passed out in your bed this morning. Any attempt to defecate results in a fire hose like discharge of alcohol-scented fluid with a rare 'floater' thrown in. The sole purpose of this 'floater' seems to be to splash the toilet water all over your ass. Death sounds pretty good about right now.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jeepman137 Posted May 25, 2005 Report Share Posted May 25, 2005 omg, thats hilarious... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bansheecaptain Posted May 26, 2005 Report Share Posted May 26, 2005 nice Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
frocashmoney24 Posted May 26, 2005 Report Share Posted May 26, 2005 and oh so true Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NYUK Posted May 26, 2005 Report Share Posted May 26, 2005 ever been hungover so bad ,you guzzle cold water, then throw it back up cold. thats a weird sensation. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NEVER SATISFIED Posted May 26, 2005 Report Share Posted May 26, 2005 Five Star Hangover (*****)You have a second heartbeat in your head, 373807[/snapback] Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bansheeryder_69 Posted May 26, 2005 Report Share Posted May 26, 2005 Phucking hilarious Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wielandr Posted May 26, 2005 Report Share Posted May 26, 2005 ever had buttpee and puking your guts out at the same time so you need to take a bucket with you to the shiter? now thats a hangover Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
STLBILL Posted May 27, 2005 Report Share Posted May 27, 2005 Two Star Hangover (**)....but you have the mental capacity of a staple gun. Yes, and that would mean all you can think about is nailing everything in sight! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
westerngoods Posted May 27, 2005 Report Share Posted May 27, 2005 I must be an alcoholic because i never have lower than a 4 star**** hangover...shit ive probly been worse then that 5 star they talk about , ill drink to that, cheers Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
05bansh Posted May 27, 2005 Report Share Posted May 27, 2005 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fireman-hott Posted May 28, 2005 Report Share Posted May 28, 2005 NYUK I did the drinking water and puking it back up cold about a month ago from drinking. Than about 2 weeks ago when I was feeling like shit from the remnants of a cold, I decided to take a meduim size glass of water with some citrus alka seltzer, well I guzzled it and immediatly puked the whole glass up in the sink about 5 in the morning, I was like so I tried again and it stayed down with the second glass. I"m had each of those hangovers at some point in the last 2 years easily. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
txblueshee Posted May 28, 2005 Report Share Posted May 28, 2005 Riding out a 4-star right now.... feel like warmed over regurgetaded death. Mike Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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