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Relationship issue plz help


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Sorry this isnt banshee related.

 

I have been with my girl for about a year and 4 months but i just found out, around 3 months ago she had sex with someone else She keeps crying to me not to leave her and she is soooo sorry but was under the influence etc... and she will kill herself if i leave her, I "DO" love her alot and dont want to leave but this is very serious IMO and dont want it to happen again, give her another chance or what?

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Drop her like she is hot-trust is gone-this will always be an issue-continue the pain or find someone you can TRUST-high or sober----call Jerry Springer for advice

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Alcohol isn't a excuse!!!! I know most people will use that excuse but, me personally I think its BS!!! Once a cheater always a cheater...Man I sound like a bitch, but, Thats whatcha need to know, brotha!!!

 

Later

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If you are okay with it once, you will have to be okay with it when it happens again.

 

If you accept this you are setting a standard that she will know she can live by, and still have the best of everything for her. She can have you when she wants, and someone else when she wants, and you will still be there for her insecurities.

 

And I'd be willing to bet the whole "killing herself" is a ruse to make YOU feel bad. YOU! THE GUY WHOSE GIRL FUCKED ANOTHER GUY!!! The whole fucking thing isn't about you, its about her fucking some other guy!

 

And, if she does kill herself, it isn't about you obviously, its about her and what she wanted to do. Just like when she fucked some other guy. You have no control over anyone else in this world except yourself. Either you accept other people for what they are, and what they do, or you find someone else.

 

I'd say dump her and find someone more mature that can handle being in a committed relationship that isn't going to blame alcohol for her misbehavings if you want to call it that.

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Sorry this isnt banshee related.

 

I have been with my girl for about a year and 4 months but i just found out, around 3 months ago she had sex with someone else  She keeps crying to me not to leave her and she is soooo sorry but was under the influence etc... and she will kill herself if i leave her, I "DO" love her alot and dont want to leave but this is very serious IMO and dont want it to happen again, give her another chance or what?

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I would say yes give her another chance. If she truely is sorry then she wont cheat again. I dont believe with the once a cheater always a cheater, its not true with everyone. Its gonna be tough though for her cause your gonna question everything she does without you, and if she is ready to have someone constantly looking over her shoulder then try it one more time. If she does it again then get rid of her.

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I would say yes give her another chance. If she truely is sorry then she wont cheat again. I dont believe with the once a cheater always a cheater, its not true with everyone. Its gonna be tough though for her cause your gonna question everything she does without you, and if she is ready to have someone constantly looking over her shoulder then try it one more time. If she does it again then get rid of her.

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Personally, I wouldn

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Drop her!! I had a chick do the same thing to me....said she got drunk, things happened, blah, blah, whatever. She's not gonna kill herself, if she loved you that much she wouldn't have cheated on you in the first place. Go find you a better woman man, there's plenty of them out there! :cheers:

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Just thinkk.... How do you know this is the only time she did this? You just so happened to find out about this time and there could have been more times. I had the same shit happen man. We tried to work everything out but it wasnt ever the same again. No matter how hard I tried, couldnt get over the fact that all the shit she said about lovin me blah blah blah and then she goes out and fucks around on me. There was no trust after that at all. If she loved you like she said she did, she wouldnt have done it in the first place.

 

A SOBER MANS THOUGHTS ARE A DRUNK MANS WORDS. (or actions)

 

At some point in time she obviously wanted to sleep with this dude, or else she wouldnt have let it happen. And if she was so sorry about the whole deal and she knew she was wrong, why didnt she come up to you the night after it happened and tell you about it? If she were that sorry for it then it would kill her to keep it from you. But she had no problem keeping it from you for 3 months? I call bullshit on the shes sorry thing. I think shes sorry she got caught. I wouldnt give her another chance. I know you dont wanna hear that, but shit wont ever be the same again.

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Just thinkk.... How do you know this is the only time she did this? You just so happened to find out about this time and there could have been more times. I had the same shit happen man. We tried to work everything out but it wasnt ever the same again. No matter how hard I tried, couldnt get over the fact that all the shit she said about lovin me blah blah blah and then she goes out and fucks around on me. There was no trust after that at all. If she loved you like she said she did, she wouldnt have done it in the first place.

 

A SOBER MANS THOUGHTS ARE A DRUNK MANS WORDS. (or actions)

 

At some point in time she obviously wanted to sleep with this dude, or else she wouldnt have let it happen. And if she was so sorry about the whole deal and she knew she was wrong, why didnt she come up to you the night after it happened and tell you about it? If she were that sorry for it then it would kill her to keep it from you. But she had no problem keeping it from you for 3 months? I call bullshit on the shes sorry thing. I think shes sorry she got caught. I wouldnt give her another chance. I know you dont wanna hear that, but shit wont ever be the same again.

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Word. Couldnt have said it better.

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tough spot to be in. You have only know her for 4 months. So you don't really know her, you both are in that early stage of a relationship. If it were me, I'd just back the relationship way off. Talk to her about it though, tell her why you are backing off. Slow things down. Still date and hang out etc. but don't be dropping big coin on her and I would freeze the physical relationship for a while to. See how she handles that. If she truly "loves you" she will work extra hard to earn your trust back and rebuild the relationship. This is also maybe a good time to address partying and her alcohol issue which it sounds like she might have.

 

By cooling things off but staying around it will expose her true colors. If she is a, well lets just say....not a nice girl, she won't stick around because she is going to want to go party, get hammered and get laid.

 

RJV :cheers:

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