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Led, for the past 2 months I've been though some similar stuff with my wife of 8 1/2 years. I know how you are feeling. I've talked to a lot of people about my situation and have gotten a lot of advice. Most of the things posted above are good advice. But I was told one thing by a 47 year old guy that works for me that stands out above all of the rest. He said "...you are not a failure." I didn't even realize that I felt that way until he said that. I absolutely hate losing or failing at anything that I do. I was putting as much effort into my wife and marriage as it sounds like you were, then this shit comes out of the blue. Wow, what a hit. I'm thinking: did I really spend the last 10+ years of my life working at something so hard only to fail? I have had a lot more time to think about it than you, but I now realize that I'm not a failure. I wasn't perfect, but I was damn good and if our marriage ends, it is her loss. It sounds like you didn't fail either, she just quit. Just keep taking it one day at a time. Things will get better.

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mat....sounds like me & you are in the same boat, but you went through worse...I can't imagine. But I feel for you bro & I do know that I gave it my all, nothing more I could do...I lived for her & gave up soo much to make her happy; now it seems it was all in vain. That's what's kept my head up, knowing that I can say it was her loss, that I did my part & then some to make shit work. And like you said...one day at a time it's getting better, just gotta keep going no matter what. She can live with the fact that she fucked up. Like I told her before I told her to get the fuck out of my truck the other night..."I deserve better & you deserve less." :shrugani:

 

Life will go on... :cheers: to you. B)

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led

 

my advice, ive been there also spent 4.5 yrs with a girl. it really sucks for about the first 6 months, unless you get someone else to spend some time with. which i didnt.

 

to help you out with her.

 

break all ties, i mean everything, no phone calls, no saying hi, stopping by, it makes it worse, trust me. i should have listen to my friend, BREAK ALL TIES

 

if it was meant to be it will or would have happened. things might not have been as cherry as you might thought.

 

also your like 23-23 you really think you should be married, most statics say you shouldnt get married till your 28 or older

 

man i would find some strange, enjoy your time, it sucks but after awhile it gets better

lykis 101.

 

also your like an hr away we need to met up and ride it will clear your mind

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if men werent buying, women couldnt sell it.

dont get me wrong, i know there are some snotty bitchy whores out there, but the same goes for men. i just dont like being categorized with all those shallow sluts. i find it offensive, and so would you.

and on another note, these horrible attitudes some of you have toward women show themselves in the way you treat them, whether you realize it or not. that has a lot to do with the types of women you find yourselves with, and how they treat you. (this in no way goes for led, im pretty sure he's one of the nice guys...too nice if you found yourself giving stuff up for her, like your guitar) you teach people how to treat you, so in every failed relationship, you have to look at yourself and see where you went wrong and learn from that. i know i sure have a long ways to go, i havent figured everything out yet. ive had a real shitty relationship track record, and i know all the shitty ways ive been treated were partially my fault, if even for just allowing myself to be treated that way.

:shrugani:

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if it was meant to be it will or would have happened.

328811[/snapback]

i once had a chick tell me "if you love me, you'll set me free(to fuck all your friends) and if i come back it was meant to be" how fucking poetic was that......

328828[/snapback]

 

:headbang:

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to be honest, way too honest really...

ive dated ugly guys, ive dated fat guys, ive dated smart guys, dumb guys, good lookin guys....after all this, ive found looks have a lot less to do with peoples' attitudes than youre thinking. you do live in an area where everything revolves around appearance and/or money, so dont forget, not everyplace is like that. ive dated ugly guys who rarely got laid who have HUGE egos and are total assholes, and i dated good looking guys who have zero self esteem and are nothing but sweet to women. its all more about how that person was raised, and how they have been treated in their lives by people. same idea as yours about hot chicks being made to think their shit dont stink, but its just got less to do with looks really.

some people think im good looking, but that isnt really a big part of my life, never has been. i grew up in a home where there were way too many serious issues for looks to even be thought about. and in my community, no one really cares about hot chicks. if you arent cool, no one cares how hot you are. and if you are cool, no one cares how ugly you are.

 

:shrugani:

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Man, thats women for ya...Love you when they are getting what they want, then dump you the second they think they can have something better. And this they call love...

 

Just feel lucky you did NOT Marry her! Think of how stupid you would have felt proposing in the first place! Women are damn good liars, give you trust and guilt trips tell you all this stuff about how much they care and can't bear to lose you. They will even chase after you if you break up with them....Then suddenly they leave you for new cock out of the fucking blue...pretty typical...

 

On the bright side, you probably need to save all the money you can right now anyways...

 

check this radio show out if you can!

http://www.blowmeuptom.com/

Edited by Justintoxicated
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oh and uhh, deuce...

theres a couple people out there who will tell you how nuts i drove them with my one word answers all the time...

"hey what did you do today?"....."nuthin"

"oh, well you must have done something.."....."nope"

"ok, well how are you then?"....."fine"

"wow so glad you feel like sharing so much with me"...."right"

 

 

:shrugani:

 

im comfortable with speaking as few words as necessary, why does that bother people so much....

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