ellison445 Posted February 14, 2005 Report Share Posted February 14, 2005 A woman walked into her everyday deli to purchase some small things she needed for around the house. She walks into to the store only to find that the guy who worked the counter for 10 years was replaced by a young Indian guy named Anil.She tells anil give me two cans of cat food and a snickers! Anil replies, I'm sorry I cant sell you this cat food without proof that you own a cat, the woman storms out of the store goes home grabs her cat comes back and makes the purchase. Two days later the woman returns to the store for some bird food, She asked anil for the bird food! Anil replies, Sorry I cant sell you this bird food without proof of you having a bird. The lady says this if fucking crazy. She rushes home and gets the bird and returns to the store. She shoves the bird in anils face and demands the bird food. She also at this time has a small shoe box with a hole in the side. The lady tells anil to put his finger inside of the box, Anil puts his hand in and pulls it out very fast. He yells at the lady, what the fuck is this. She replies, that's Shit now give me 2 rolls of tissue!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PUSH THE THROTTLE Posted February 14, 2005 Report Share Posted February 14, 2005 6 for 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dune_girl Posted February 14, 2005 Report Share Posted February 14, 2005 Here's a little REDNECK VALENTINES DAY HUMOR Collards is green, my dog's name is Blue and I'm so lucky to have a sweet thang like you. Yore hair is like cornsilk a-flapping in the breeze. Softer than Blue's and without all them fleas. You move like the bass, which excite me in May. You ain't got no scales but I luv you anyway. Yo're as satisfy'n as okry jist a-fry'n in the pan. Yo're as fragrant as "snuff" right out of the can. You have some'a yore teeth, for which I am proud; I hold my head high when we're in a crowd. On special occasions, when you shave under yore arms, well, I'm in hawg heaven, and awed by yore charms. Still them fellers at work, they all want to know, what I did to deserve such a purdy, young doe. Like a good roll of duct tape yo're there fer yore man, to patch up life's troubles and fix what you can. Yo're as cute as a junebug a-buzzin' overhead. You ain't mean like those far ants I found in my bed. Cut from the best cloth like a plaid flannel shirt, you spark up my life more than a fresh load of dirt. When you hold me real tight like a padded gunrack, my life is complete; Ain't nuttin' I lack. Yore complexion, it's perfection, like the best vinyl sidin'. despite all the years, yore age, it keeps hidin'. Me 'n' you's like a Moon Pie with a RC cold drank, we go together like a skunk goes with stank. Some men, they buy chocolate for Valentine's Day; They git it at Wal-Mart, it's romantic that way. Some men git roses on that special day from the cooler at Kroger. "That's impressive," I say. Some men buy fine diamonds from a flea market booth. "Diamonds are forever," they explain, suave and couth. But for this man, honey, these won't do. Cause yor'e too special, you sweet thang you. I got you a gift, without taste nor odor, more useful than diamonds... IT'S A NEW TROLL'N MOTOR!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
banshee76179 Posted February 14, 2005 Report Share Posted February 14, 2005 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Banshee_LE Posted February 14, 2005 Report Share Posted February 14, 2005 Hearts and roses and kisses galore, What the hell is all that shit for? People get mushy and start acting queer, It is definitely the most annoying day of the year. This day needs to get the hell over with and pass, Before I shove something up Cupid's ass. I'll spend the day so drunk I can't speak And wear black for the rest of the week. Girls act all sweet, but soon it will fade, For all they are doing is trying to get laid. The arrow Cupid shot at me must not have hit, Cause I think this love thing is a crock of shit. So, here's my story... what else can I say? Love bites my ass... F*ck Valentines Day!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
banshee76179 Posted February 14, 2005 Report Share Posted February 14, 2005 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rockgc9 Posted February 14, 2005 Report Share Posted February 14, 2005 I swear these keep getting better and better. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dune_girl Posted February 14, 2005 Report Share Posted February 14, 2005 (edited) you got me beat banshee_le....that was good HAPPY BIRTHDAY btw Edited February 14, 2005 by dune_girl Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Banshee_LE Posted February 15, 2005 Report Share Posted February 15, 2005 you got me beat banshee_le....that was good HAPPY BIRTHDAY btw 323324[/snapback] Thanks man! it's so fun to get older Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Rebel Posted February 16, 2005 Report Share Posted February 16, 2005 Hearts and roses and kisses galore, What the hell is all that shit for? People get mushy and start acting queer, It is definitely the most annoying day of the year. This day needs to get the hell over with and pass, Before I shove something up Cupid's ass. I'll spend the day so drunk I can't speak And wear black for the rest of the week. Girls act all sweet, but soon it will fade, For all they are doing is trying to get laid. The arrow Cupid shot at me must not have hit, Cause I think this love thing is a crock of shit. So, here's my story... what else can I say? Love bites my ass... F*ck Valentines Day!! 323233[/snapback] Now that's some funny sh$t Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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