ellison445 Posted February 9, 2005 Report Share Posted February 9, 2005 CHINESE SICK LEAVE - I NO COME WORK TODAY!!!" Hung Chow calls into work and says, "Hey, boss, I no come work today!! I really sick. I got headache, stomach-ache and my legs hurt, I no come work." The boss says, "You know Hung Chow, I really need you today. When I feel like this I go to my wife and tell her give me sex. That makes everything better and I go work. You try that." Two hours later Hung Chow calls again. "Boss, I do what you say and I feel great. I be at work soon........You got nice house.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ledofthezep Posted February 9, 2005 Report Share Posted February 9, 2005 Haha! I refer to the shit that sticks to the hair around a dogs ass as 'Hung Chow'. Just a bit of useless info I figured you needed to know. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PUSH THE THROTTLE Posted February 9, 2005 Report Share Posted February 9, 2005 Keep them coming. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stclark816 Posted February 9, 2005 Report Share Posted February 9, 2005 LOL, "I no come work today." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NYUK Posted February 9, 2005 Report Share Posted February 9, 2005 lol, hung chow. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
XxMeltIcexX Posted February 9, 2005 Report Share Posted February 9, 2005 LOL Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
locogato11283 Posted February 10, 2005 Report Share Posted February 10, 2005 haha good one. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rockgc9 Posted February 10, 2005 Report Share Posted February 10, 2005 That is too funny Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LIsurfer_ Posted February 10, 2005 Report Share Posted February 10, 2005 someone sent me this today. Could be my kids..... Everybody has to start sometime!! A 6-year old and a 4-year old are upstairs in their bedroom. "You know what?" says the 6-year old. "I think it's about time we started cussing." The 4-year old nods his head in approval. The 6-year old continues, "When we go downstairs for breakfast, I'm gonna say something with hell and you say something with ass." The 4-year old agrees with enthusiasm. When the mother walks into the kitchen and asks the 6-year old what he wants for breakfast, he replies, "Aw, hell, Mom, I guess I'll have some Cheerios." WHACK! He flies out of his chair, tumbles across the kitchen floor, gets up, and runs upstairs crying his eyes out, with his mother in hot pursuit, slapping his rear with every step. His Mom locks him in his room and shouts, "You can stay there until I let you out!" She then comes back downstairs, looks at the 4-year old and asks with a stern voice, "And what do YOU want for breakfast, young man?" "I don't know," he blubbers, "but you can bet your ass it won't be Cheerios." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tithead Posted February 10, 2005 Report Share Posted February 10, 2005 someone sent me this today. Could be my kids.....Everybody has to start sometime!! A 6-year old and a 4-year old are upstairs in their bedroom. "You know what?" says the 6-year old. "I think it's about time we started cussing." The 4-year old nods his head in approval. The 6-year old continues, "When we go downstairs for breakfast, I'm gonna say something with hell and you say something with ass." The 4-year old agrees with enthusiasm. When the mother walks into the kitchen and asks the 6-year old what he wants for breakfast, he replies, "Aw, hell, Mom, I guess I'll have some Cheerios." WHACK! He flies out of his chair, tumbles across the kitchen floor, gets up, and runs upstairs crying his eyes out, with his mother in hot pursuit, slapping his rear with every step. His Mom locks him in his room and shouts, "You can stay there until I let you out!" She then comes back downstairs, looks at the 4-year old and asks with a stern voice, "And what do YOU want for breakfast, young man?" "I don't know," he blubbers, "but you can bet your ass it won't be Cheerios." 320796[/snapback] Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tithead Posted February 10, 2005 Report Share Posted February 10, 2005 a man walks into a chinese take away place.... as he walks in the shinese man greets hims. "who cha woh?" says the chinese man "um, could i get No.79 please?" asks the man. the chinese fellow looks up again and says " who cha woh" the man repeats himself and says "No.79 please" the chinese man looks up again, and starting to get pissed off he says yet again "who cha woh" man: "number 79.... please!" chinese man... "NO NO NO NO NO, who cha woh! it just been painted!!!!" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gonzoret Posted February 10, 2005 Report Share Posted February 10, 2005 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PUSH THE THROTTLE Posted February 10, 2005 Report Share Posted February 10, 2005 320870[/snapback] I'll second that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PUSH THE THROTTLE Posted February 10, 2005 Report Share Posted February 10, 2005 It's a Man's World How many men does it take to open a beer? - None. It should be opened by the time she brings it. Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman? - Because a woman who can't afford a washing machine will probably never be able to support you. Why do women have smaller feet than men? - It allows them to stand closer to the sink. How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart? - She starts her sentence with "A man once told me..." How do you fix a woman's watch? - It doesn't matter. There is a clock on the oven. Why do men break wind more than women? - Because women can't shut up long enough to build up the pressure. If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first? - The dog. He'll shut up once you let him in. What's worse than a Male Chauvinist Pig? - A woman that won't do what she's told. I married Miss Right. - I just didn't know her first name was Always. I haven't spoken to my wife for 18 months! - I don't like to interrupt her. Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a woman's sex drive by up to 90%. - It's called wedding cake. Marriage is a three ring circus: - Engagement ring, wedding ring, suffering. My wife asked me "What's on the TV?" - I said, "Dust!" In the beginning, God created the earth and rested. Then God created Man and rested. Then God created Woman. - Since then, neither God nor Man has rested. Why do men die before their wives? - They want to. A man inserted an advertisement in the classifieds section with the heading "Wife Wanted." - The next day he received a hundred letters saying "You can have mine." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ellison445 Posted February 10, 2005 Author Report Share Posted February 10, 2005 LMFAO!!!! It's a Man's WorldHow many men does it take to open a beer? - None. It should be opened by the time she brings it. Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman? - Because a woman who can't afford a washing machine will probably never be able to support you. Why do women have smaller feet than men? - It allows them to stand closer to the sink. How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart? - She starts her sentence with "A man once told me..." How do you fix a woman's watch? - It doesn't matter. There is a clock on the oven. Why do men break wind more than women? - Because women can't shut up long enough to build up the pressure. If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first? - The dog. He'll shut up once you let him in. What's worse than a Male Chauvinist Pig? - A woman that won't do what she's told. I married Miss Right. - I just didn't know her first name was Always. I haven't spoken to my wife for 18 months! - I don't like to interrupt her. Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a woman's sex drive by up to 90%. - It's called wedding cake. Marriage is a three ring circus: - Engagement ring, wedding ring, suffering. My wife asked me "What's on the TV?" - I said, "Dust!" In the beginning, God created the earth and rested. Then God created Man and rested. Then God created Woman. - Since then, neither God nor Man has rested. Why do men die before their wives? - They want to. A man inserted an advertisement in the classifieds section with the heading "Wife Wanted." - The next day he received a hundred letters saying "You can have mine." 320898[/snapback] Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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