banshee76179 Posted February 1, 2005 Report Share Posted February 1, 2005 1.Koala and the Prostitute A koala bear was approached by a prostitute, since he had never been with one before, he was curious and excited. They spent the night together in a hotel, and he went down on her the next morning one last time before departing. As he was heading for the door, the prostitute yelled, "Hey, what about my money?" The koala turned, gave her a puzzled look and shrugged his shoulders. She said, "Come here", and pulled a dictionary out of her purse. She pointed to the word "prostitute" and its definition, "Has sex and gets paid." Finally understanding, the koala borrowed her dictionary, turned to the word "koala" and showed her, "Eats bush and leaves" 2.Golf.. A woman is playing golf and is finishing up on the first hole and is walking to the second when a bee stings her.....Then she walks back to the club house and proceeds to tell the golf pro that a bee stung her out on the course! Then, the golf pro asked her," where she was stung at"? she replied, " Between hole #1 and Hole #2".. The golf pro, told her " I told you, your stance was to wide"! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RNBRAD Posted February 1, 2005 Report Share Posted February 1, 2005 Hadn't herd those, those were good. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kw04 Posted February 1, 2005 Report Share Posted February 1, 2005 nice keep them coming Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SICK BOY Posted February 1, 2005 Report Share Posted February 1, 2005 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ledofthezep Posted February 1, 2005 Report Share Posted February 1, 2005 Q. What's yellow and green and eats nuts? A. Gonorrhoea. Q. What did one gay sperm say to the other gay sperm? A. I can't see a thing with all this shit in here! A police officer was patrolling the highway when he sees a guy tied up to a tree, crying. The officer stops and approaches the guy. "What's going on here?", he asks. The guy sobs, "I was driving and picked up a hitchhiker. He pulled a gun on me, robbed me, took all my money, my clothes, my car and then tied me up." The cop studied the guy for a moment, and then pulled down his pants and whipped out his dick. "I guess this isn't your lucky day, pal!" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
05bansh Posted February 1, 2005 Report Share Posted February 1, 2005 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PUSH THE THROTTLE Posted February 1, 2005 Report Share Posted February 1, 2005 Led, you made me think of an old story that went around our town a few years ago. Names have been changed to protect the innocent. The local grocery store owner named Wayne employed an over achiever named Garth. Garth was always working at the store and would do whatever Wayne told him. One day Wayne and Garth were driving through the countryside when they came across a sheep, which had its head caught in the fence. They got out and walked up to the sheep and Wayne dropped his pants and fucked the sheep. When Wayne was done, he asked Garth if he wanted a turn. Sure enough, Garth dropped his pants and stuck his head in the fence. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
locogato11283 Posted February 1, 2005 Report Share Posted February 1, 2005 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dune_girl Posted February 1, 2005 Report Share Posted February 1, 2005 LMFAO....niiiice guys Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
banshee76179 Posted February 1, 2005 Author Report Share Posted February 1, 2005 Couple more B4 I go.. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Teen age sex: The mother of a 17-year-old girl was concerned that her daughter was having sex. Worried the girl might become pregnant and adversely impact the family's status, she consulted the family doctor. The doctor told her that teenagers today were very willful and any attempt to stop the girl would probably result in rebellion. He then told her to arrange for her daughter to be put on birth control and until then, talk to her and give her a box of condoms. Later that evening, as her daughter was preparing for a date, the woman told her about the situation and handed her a box of condoms. The girl burst out laughing and reached over to hug her mother saying: "Oh Mom! You don't have to worry about that! I'm dating Susan!" ....................................... Church: A man went to church one day and afterward he stopped to shake the preacher's hand. He said "Preacher, I'll tell you, that was a damned fine sermon. Damned good!" The preacher said, "Thank you sir, but I'd rather you didn't use profanity." The man said, "I was so damned impressed with that ser mon I put five thousand dollars in the offering plate!" The preacher said, "No shit?" ................................................. Pancakes: Brenda and Steve took their six-year-old son to the doctor. With some hesitation, they explained that although their little angel appeared to be in good health, they were concerned about his rather small penis. After examining the child, the doctor confidently declared, "Just feed him pancakes. That should solve the problem." The next morning when the boy arrived at breakfast, there was a large stack of warm pancakes in the middle of the table. "Gee, Mom," he exclaimed. "For me?" "Just take two," Brenda replied. "The rest are for your father." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PUSH THE THROTTLE Posted February 1, 2005 Report Share Posted February 1, 2005 Teen age sex: The mother of a 17-year-old girl was concerned that her daughter was having sex. Worried the girl might become pregnant and adversely impact the family's status, she consulted the family doctor. The doctor told her that teenagers today were very willful and any attempt to stop the girl would probably result in rebellion. He then told her to arrange for her daughter to be put on birth control and until then, talk to her and give her a box of condoms. Later that evening, as her daughter was preparing for a date, the woman told her about the situation and handed her a box of condoms. The girl burst out laughing and reached over to hug her mother saying: "Oh Mom! You don't have to worry about that! I'm dating Susan!" 315801[/snapback] I thought for sure the door bell was going to ring and the family doctor was going to be there to pick up his date Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
banshee76179 Posted February 1, 2005 Author Report Share Posted February 1, 2005 A blonde , readhead, and a burnette all in the 4th grade... Which girl has the biggest boobs? The blonde... shes 18... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bansheecaptain Posted February 1, 2005 Report Share Posted February 1, 2005 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DUNEDEMON Posted February 1, 2005 Report Share Posted February 1, 2005 Fred was excited about his new rifle and decided to try bear hunting. He travels up to Alaska, spots a small brown bear and shoots it...... Right after, there was a tap on his shoulder and he turned around to see a big black bear. The black bear said: "That was a very bad mistake. That was my cousin and I'm going to give you two choices. Either I maul you to death or we have sex." After considering briefly, Fred decided to accept the latter alternative... So the black bear had his way with Fred. Even though he felt sore for two weeks, Fred soon recovered and vowed revenge. He headed out on another trip back to Alaska where he found the black bear and shot it dead. Right after, there was another tap on his shoulder. This time a huge grizzly bear stood right next to him. The grizzly said: "That was a big mistake, Fred..... That was my cousin and you've got two choices. Either I maul you to death or we have rough sex." Again, Fred thought it was better to cooperate with the grizzly bear than be mauled to death. So the grizzly had his way with Fred. Although he survived, it took several months before Fred fully recovered. Now Fred was completely outraged, so he headed back to Alaska and managed to track down the grizzly bear and shot it. He felt sweet revenge. Then, moments later, there was a tap on his shoulder. He turned around to find a giant polar bear standing there. The polar bear looked at him and said: "Admit it Fred, you don't come here for the hunting, do you?" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
banshee76179 Posted February 1, 2005 Author Report Share Posted February 1, 2005 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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