super88_banshee Posted January 16, 2005 Report Share Posted January 16, 2005 Lets hear it for the best redneck jokes that you can muster up......winner gets the glory of being presented with 6 cheers smilies in a row....may the best man win. I'll give ya one just to start out with, good luck! You might be a redneck if your idea of fast food is hitting a deer at 70 M.P.H. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bansheefreak Posted January 16, 2005 Report Share Posted January 16, 2005 you might be a redneck if you go to a family reunion to pick up chicks. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RNBRAD Posted January 16, 2005 Report Share Posted January 16, 2005 You might be a redneck if you think safe sex is putting on the parking brake. You might be a redneck when your counting sheep, you get more aroused than sleepy. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
04ShEeLE Posted January 16, 2005 Report Share Posted January 16, 2005 You might be a redneck if your granny comes out of the bathroom and says "ya'll come look at this 'fore I flush it" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
05bansh Posted January 16, 2005 Report Share Posted January 16, 2005 You might be a redneck if you wont consider going anywhere without your gun. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
05bansh Posted January 16, 2005 Report Share Posted January 16, 2005 You might be a Redneck if a billboard that says, Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sp1tekiller Posted January 16, 2005 Report Share Posted January 16, 2005 You might be a redneck when your counting sheep, you get more aroused than sleepy. 307392[/snapback] Haha, I like that one. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sp1tekiller Posted January 16, 2005 Report Share Posted January 16, 2005 your front porch collapses and four dogs get killed. you think a Volvo is part of a woman Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PUSH THE THROTTLE Posted January 16, 2005 Report Share Posted January 16, 2005 you got genital herpes from your sister. you address Christmas cards to your mom as cousin/mom. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
05bansh Posted January 16, 2005 Report Share Posted January 16, 2005 How do you circumsize a redneck? Kick his sister in the jaw! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thecabinboy Posted January 16, 2005 Report Share Posted January 16, 2005 How do you know a redneck invented toothpaste? Anyone else would have named it teethpaste. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SICK BOY Posted January 16, 2005 Report Share Posted January 16, 2005 My favorite one is- You know your a redneck when you own a house that is mobile,and 5 cars that aren't. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SICK BOY Posted January 16, 2005 Report Share Posted January 16, 2005 (edited) I almost forgot this joke. What does a redneck chick say after she has sex for the first time....Dad get off me your crushing my smokes. Edited January 16, 2005 by SICK BOY Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Banshee~ Posted January 16, 2005 Report Share Posted January 16, 2005 You Might Be a Redneck If...... you've been married three times and still have the same in-laws. you think TACO BELL is the Mexican Phone Company your house still has the "WIDE LOAD" sign on the back. you carried a fishing pole into Sea World. your family tree has no forks. fifth grade was the best six years of your life. the Halloween pumpkin on your front porch has more teeth than your wife. you think the three primary colors are John Deere Green, Ford Blue, and Primer Gray. you've been on TV more than 5 times describing the sound of a tornado. you think the stock market has fence around it. you couldn't learn to swim because your gene pool is too small. if you have ever cut your grass and found a car. if your dog and yoru wallet are on a chain. if everyday somebody comes to your door mistaking that your having a yard sell. if you have ever financed a tattoo. if you have ever make change in the offering plate. if the ufo hotline limits you to one call a day. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thecabinboy Posted January 16, 2005 Report Share Posted January 16, 2005 40 Things Never Said By Rednecks 40. Oh I just couldn't. Hell, she's only sixteen. 39. I'll take Shakespeare for 1000, Alex. 38. Duct tape won't fix that. 37. Lisa Marie was lucky to catch Michael. 36. Come to think of it, I'll have a Heineken. 35. We don't keep firearms in this house. 34. Has anybody seen the sideburns trimmer? 33. You can't feed that to the dog. 32. I thought Graceland was tacky. 31. No kids in the back of the pickup, it's just not safe. 30. Wrasslin's fake. 29. Honey, did you mail that donation to Greenpeace? 28. We're vegetarians. 27. Do you think my gut is too big? 26. I'll have grapefruit and grapes instead of biscuits and gravy. 25. Honey, we don't need another dog. 24. Who's Richard Petty? 23. Give me the small bag of pork rinds. 22. Too many deer heads detract from the decor. 21. Spittin is such a nasty habit. 20. I just couldn't find a thing at Walmart today. 19. Trim the fat off that steak. 18. Cappuccino tastes better than espresso. 17. The tires on that truck are too big. 16. I'll have the arugula and radicchio salad. 15. I've got it all on the C drive. 14. Unsweetened tea tastes better. 13. Would you like your salmon poached or broiled? 12. My fiance, Bobbie Jo, is registered at Tiffany's. 11. I've got two cases of Zima for the Super Bowl. 10. Little Debbie snack cakes have too many fat grams. 09. Checkmate. 08. She's too young to be wearing a bikini. 07. Does the salad bar have bean sprouts? 06. Hey, here's an episode of "Hee Haw" that we haven't seen. 05. I don't have a favorite college team. 04. Be sure to bring my salad dressing on the side. 03. I believe you cooked those green beans too long. 02. Those shorts ought to be a little longer, Darla. 01. Nope, no more for me. I'm drivin tonight. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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