XTShee Posted January 17, 2005 Report Share Posted January 17, 2005 A man writes.... I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ so much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I have never figured out why men think with their head and women with their heart. FOR EXAMPLE! One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed. Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says 'I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me.' I said 'WHAT????!!! What was that?!' So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear...'You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man.' She responded to my puzzled look by saying, 'Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?' Realising that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep. The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to take so I told her we'll just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said lets get a pair for each outfit. We went onto the jewellery department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you...she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis. I think I threw her for a loop when I said, 'That's fine, honey.' She was almost nearing satisfaction from all of the excitement. Smiling with excited anticipation she finally said, 'I think this is all dear, let's go to the cashier.' I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, 'No honey, I don't feel like it.' Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled 'WHAT???!!!' I then said, 'Really honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman.' And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added, 'Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?' Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Banchetta Posted January 18, 2005 Report Share Posted January 18, 2005 I'm going to post this one on the bedroom door!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
04ShEeLE Posted January 18, 2005 Report Share Posted January 18, 2005 That's fucked up!!! But I like it Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Holyman Posted January 18, 2005 Author Report Share Posted January 18, 2005 XT... you ARE the man. Where do you find this stuff? That is priceless Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NYUK Posted January 18, 2005 Report Share Posted January 18, 2005 xt, you won`t be getting any for a year. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ozstriker Posted January 18, 2005 Report Share Posted January 18, 2005 (edited) after taking all afternoon or most of it to read this thread i've come to notice that most of you have or are old enough to have kids and i bet you that do have some are the first ones to teach your kids not to argue well your all acting like a bunch of kids this sounds about right "go to your rooms and think about what you've all done" sound familiar it should your probably the first ones to say that come on guys genaral discussion thread not general bitching or name calling but thanks anyways pretty boring day at work Edited January 18, 2005 by ozstriker Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ledofthezep Posted January 18, 2005 Report Share Posted January 18, 2005 LMAO...XTshee Good stuff...little sick & demented thinking, but true. I can just see her... Chalk one up for the pimps from MARS. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Holyman Posted January 18, 2005 Author Report Share Posted January 18, 2005 after taking all afternoon or most of it to read this thread i've come to notice that most of you have or are old enough to have kids and i bet you that do have some are the first ones to teach your kids not to argue well your all acting like a bunch of kids this sounds about right "go to your rooms and think about what you've all done" sound familiar it should your probably the first ones to say that come on guys genaral discussion thread not general bitching or name calling but thanks anyways pretty boring day at work 308463[/snapback] No-one says stuff like that in America. What you said must be a Canadian thing. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ledofthezep Posted January 18, 2005 Report Share Posted January 18, 2005 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dune_girl Posted January 18, 2005 Report Share Posted January 18, 2005 XT thats hilarious ... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ozstriker Posted January 18, 2005 Report Share Posted January 18, 2005 Canadian yes ashamed to be no Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
XTShee Posted January 18, 2005 Report Share Posted January 18, 2005 (edited) XT... you ARE the man. Where do you find this stuff? That is priceless 308419[/snapback] My Mum emails em all to me funnily enough. Heres another couple - - - A guy walks up to his girlfriend with a duck under his arm, and says " this is the pig I have been fucking" His girlfriend, suprised at this, announces "That is not a pig, it is a duck!!" To which he replies: " I was talking to the duck" What do Women and Clouds have in common? Eventually when they all fuck off we have ourselves a fine day A man comes home from work and is greeted by his wife dressed in a sexy little nightie. "Tie me up," she purrs, "and you can do anything you want." So he ties her up and goes out for a round of golf. What do older women have between their breasts that younger women don't? A bellybutton. Edited January 18, 2005 by XTShee Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dogboystoy Posted January 19, 2005 Report Share Posted January 19, 2005 Well, I found reading this entire thread entertaining to say the least. And it is by now, obvious that it was an arguement that will never have one party saying Ok I was wrong, because there was no right and wrong. In arguements we all say shit that we either didnt mean or what we said was taken the wrong way most times we dont appologize because the other person said some mean shit too. Heres my take on it: Ive been married for 5 years, my wife does the laundry, I cook, we both take care of the kids when I am not working, she goes out with her friends at least once a week, while I stay at home with the kids for the evening. It all works out in the end. somehow. BUT, we have an awsome sex life, and to make it better (for me anyway), she wants to have a 3some with another chick . She has done this once before, before I even dated her. Im all for it, the ground rules are set (she cant have a 1 on 1 with her unless I am there to watch), no hankey panky while I am on the road or at work. Now all we need is a cute chick to do that with.. Cool hu? My wife is cute, but thinks shes not as cute as she would like to be (seems all women have that issue), and I see nothing wrong with doing this little sex romp. It DOESNT make my wife a lesbian, I cant blame her for liking the taste of pussy, Hell I do. So I guess I aimed this at holyman, stating that a lot of things have changed since when you were raised. It is socially acceptable for 2 women to get it on, most men think its sexy. Anywho, Thanks for the space to type my thoughts Peace out Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Banchetta Posted January 19, 2005 Report Share Posted January 19, 2005 Dogboy, don't hold your breathe, my old lady has been telling me the same thing for 7 years now, and still no 3-some!!!! I gave up. But then I think about it when the subject hasn't been brought up in a while...Would it ruin your trust in the future even though the rules are there??? Then my old lady sais, well if you get another girl, then I get another guy!!!! WOW!!!! I dropped that topic really quick.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bansheeryder21 Posted January 19, 2005 Report Share Posted January 19, 2005 I Gotta show that one to my wife! She'll love me! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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