Jokes

[BrokeStonedBiker]

i copied this from another forum i visit. thouight it was worth sharing. lol

 

 

 

 

 

A lobbyist, on his way home from work in Washington, DC, came to a dead halt in traffic and thought to himself, "Wow, this seems worse than usual."

He noticed a police officer walking between the lines of stopped cars, so he rolled down his window and asked, "Officer, what's the holdup?"

 

The officer replied, "The President is depressed, so he stopped his motorcade and is threatening to douse himself with gasoline and set himself on fire. He says no one believes his stories about why we went to war in Iraq, or the connection between Saddam and al-Qaeda, or that his tax cuts will help anyone except his wealthy friends. So we're taking up a collection for him."

 

The lobbyist asks, "How much have you got so far?"

 

The officer replies, "About four gallons, but a lot of folks are still siphoning."

[BrokeStonedBiker]

heres another copied that was good.

 

http://www.livejournal.com/users/ilblissli/20266.html

[BrokeStonedBiker]

http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewI...ssPageName=WDVW

[BrokeStonedBiker]

one more

 

 

John O'Reilly hoisted his beer and said, "Here's to spending the

rest of me life, between the legs of me wife!"

That won him the top prize for the best toast of the night!

 

He went home and told his wife, Mary, "I won the prize for the best

toast of the night." She said, "Aye, what was

your toast?" John said, "Here's to spending the rest of me

life, sitting in church beside me wife." Oh that is very nice

indeed, John!" Mary said.

 

The next day, Mary ran into one of John's toasting buddies

on the street corner. The man chuckled leeringly and said,

"John won the prize, the other night, with a toast about you, Mary."

 

She said, "Aye and I was a bit surprised me self! You know,

he's only been there twice! Once he fell asleep, and the other time

I had to pull him by the ears to make him come.

[Wallrat]

An american goes into an irish pub and enjoys a few drinks. While in there he notices a man sitting in the corner hovering over his pint and looking quite grim. Being the sociable type, he walks over to the man and asks him why he looks so down.

 

"Well laddy, do you see that bridge over there?" the man replies. "I built that bridge with me own two hands, but do they call me O'Malley the bridge builder? No, they don't call me that."

 

"Still," the american replies, "its a fine bridge and do you really need recognition for such a fine accomplishment?"

 

"Laddy, do you see that barn over yonder? I built that barn with me own two hands! But do they call me O'Malley the barn builder? No, they don't call me that neither."

 

"Well," replies the american, "I'm sure that folks appreciate you for your skills nonetheless."

 

"Laddy, do you see that Library down the street? I built that library with me own two hands! But do they call me O'Malley the library builder? No, they don't call me that. But you f*ck one goat..."

Edited May 4, 2004 by Wallrat

[ledofthezep]

Yeah well....

 

 

How do ya know when an ethiopian lady is pregnant?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

When she pulls out her tampon & it's half eaten!

[banshee76179]

Dammit!