bignasty1 Posted February 27, 2004 Report Share Posted February 27, 2004 why do you call a baby mexican a paragraph? because he not a essay yet. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blue Duece Posted February 27, 2004 Report Share Posted February 27, 2004 a guy is sittin on the couch watchin the game and his wife comes in "Honey the porch light doesnt come on" the guy responds " Hello does it say electrician on my forehead" she comes back a bit later and says " honey i put my key in the front door and it wont open" he responds "hello does it say Locksmith on my forehead" she comes back a while later and says "sweetheart i tried turning on the sprinklers and nothing happened" he responds "hello does it say plumber on my forehead, f*ck it im going to the bar to watch the game" well after the game he drives home and pulls into the driveway and see's the porchlight is on and the sprinklers are working, he puts his key in the door and it opens, his wife is sitting on the couch and he says " I thought the lock in the door didnt work, the light was out and the sprinklers didnt work, she says " well after you left i was out sitting on the steps crying and the nicest man came by, we got to talking and he offered to fix everything if id either bake him a cake or give him a blowjob, the husband says "Oh what kind of cake did you bake him?" and the wife replies "hello does it say Betty Crocker on my forehead"...... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bignasty1 Posted February 27, 2004 Report Share Posted February 27, 2004 hahaha thats funny shit Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
efward Posted February 28, 2004 Report Share Posted February 28, 2004 What's better than winning the Gold medal in the Special Olympics?!? Not being retarded. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wallrat Posted February 29, 2004 Report Share Posted February 29, 2004 An american, a mexican, and a pollock are driving across country when their car breaks down in the middle of a huge storm. They run to the nearest farmhouse and beg the farmer to allow them to spend the night in the barn. The farmer agrees, but threatens them all if they even set eyes on his daughter. Early the following morning, the farmer is woken up by his daughter's screaming. Grabbing his shotgun he flies into her bedroom where his daughter is pointing out the window saying, "3 men were watching me get dressed daddy!" Furious, the farmer storms out to the barn where he finds the 3 men pretending to sleep. "Wake up you a'holes and come with me unless you wanna get shot!" The men jump to their feet and make their way with the farmer out to his fields. "I want you to go out in my fields and pick 100 of the same kind of fruit." Time passes and the mexican comes back with 100 grapes. "Now shove all them grapes up your ass and I'll let you live, don't and I'll kill ye were ya stand." Not having much choice, the mexican proceeds to insert each of the grapes. Finally he nears the end...97...98...99... ...100! Doubled over, the mexican runs off freely. Next to return is the american with 100 cherries. The farmer gives him the same instructions and the american proceeds to shove the cherries up his ass. Finally as he's nearing the end...97...98...99...he starts laughing and they all fall out. He tries again...97...98...99...he starts laughing and they all fall out. He tries one last time...97...98...99...and laughs again and they all falls out. "What the hell is so god-damned funny?" To which the american replies hysterically, "that damn pollack is out there pickin' watermelons!!" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
banshee04le Posted February 29, 2004 Author Report Share Posted February 29, 2004 good one! I'm sure some of you have heard this one, but.... An electrical engineer, a mechanical engineer, a chemical engineer and a computer engineer are driving along in a car when it breaks down. The electrical engineer was sure that a failure had occured in the ignition circuit. The mechanical engineer felt certain that the valvetrain had jumped time. The chemical engineer insisted the problem was fuel vapor lock. The computer engineer said...I have an idea, why don't we close all of the windows, get out and then get back in and see if that fixes it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
roosthrower Posted February 29, 2004 Report Share Posted February 29, 2004 What's makes a fat ass horny? looking at a cook book what's rarer than only 1 mexican in a chevy pick-up? a catholic priest that hasn't had his dick in a little boys ass. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Holyman Posted February 29, 2004 Report Share Posted February 29, 2004 If you're gonna slam the catholics at least spell it right. I love religious jokes. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
got1banshee Posted February 29, 2004 Report Share Posted February 29, 2004 Theres this little kid that goes up to his mom and says, Mom the kids at school are saying these wierd words and I don't know what they mean. The mom says of son what are they. So says, whats a pussy? Mom- see that cat, call that a pussy cat. The son says on, whats a bitch? Mom says see that dog? Female dog they call that a bitch. So the next day the kid comes home and goes up to his father and says, Dad the kids are saying these wierd words and I don't know what they mean. Dad says ok son what are they. Son says, whats a pussy? Dad pops out a playboy magazine and draws a circle and says see that son thats a pussy. Son says ok well whats a bitch? Dad says see everything outside that circle? Now thats a bitch. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
got1banshee Posted February 29, 2004 Report Share Posted February 29, 2004 just thought of another one. How many men does it take to open a can of beer? None because it should already be open when SHE brings it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sweetshee4312 Posted February 29, 2004 Report Share Posted February 29, 2004 why dont women need wrist watches..................................... ..................................Theres one above the stove, someone tell me i can go racial here, im not racist there just funny Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
neilgf Posted February 29, 2004 Report Share Posted February 29, 2004 What do you say to a woman with two black eyes? Nothing you've already told the bitch twice!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Meat Posted March 1, 2004 Report Share Posted March 1, 2004 Whattya call a fat chick with a yeast infection ?? . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . A Whopper with cheese Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
got1banshee Posted March 1, 2004 Report Share Posted March 1, 2004 Whattya call a fat chick with a yeast infection ??. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . A Whopper with cheese Thats just nasty man, I was getting ready to eat breakfast but not now shit. haha Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
efward Posted March 3, 2004 Report Share Posted March 3, 2004 A pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel sticking out of his fly. The bartender looks at him and says "Hey, you know you have a steering wheel in your zipper?", to which the pirate replies, "Aye! It's driving me nuts!". Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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