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How Not To Piss Off The Wife


cb67rs1

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Most women are nuts by design. Mine is pregnant right now, so everything is my fault. The big puppies are like nothing else. My English Mastiff just finished growing after almost two years. It's kind of hard to explain to someone that doesnt have one how it is to own a 75lb dog with a 5 month old brain. We are down quite a few pieces of wood trim, one room of carpeting, one whole stair, at least 15 pairs of shoes, a couple dozen pumpkins, numerous X-mas ornaments, one pair of XX Oakleys, one camera(brand new), and quite few other things that my brain keeps blocking out.

 

 

 

broke

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Most women are nuts by design.  Mine is pregnant right now, so everything is my fault.  The big puppies are like nothing else.  My English Mastiff just finished growing after almost two years.  It's kind of hard to explain to someone that doesnt have one how it is to own a 75lb dog with a 5 month old brain.  We are down quite a few pieces of wood trim, one room of carpeting, one whole stair, at least 15 pairs of shoes, a couple dozen pumpkins, numerous X-mas ornaments, one pair of XX Oakleys, one camera(brand new), and quite few other things that my brain keeps blocking out.

 

 

 

broke

not to mention eating the shit out of the cats litter boxes and then comin for a Kiss........

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Yeah, and spray paintng on the new tile downstairs-not good either. I finally got my mom to get over washin my k/n in the sink, and leavin it on the counter, but the spray paint-oops! She was cool with me bringin my pipes in to polish them while i watched tv. But she does hate, when i just let it run in the garage just to smell it(ur gunna make ur self sic, blah blah blah.) I miss my doggy too-german shepard/lab. Was big to me, but iwas like 11 when he died. big dumbiee-he loved to bat the kittens around, but never hurt them. He always drug me everwhere. He wouldnt go in the creek, until the yr b4 he died, then he"discovered" he liked it. I miss him, but cant get one till i get my own house in bout 5 yrs-college shit is in the way. Anyways...

Peace out. :blink:

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DONT use the Tupperware for drain buckets.

DONT wash out greasy parts in the sink and leave the mess.

DONT Bake cylinders in the oven with fresh paint on them

DONT Rebuild motorcycle engines in the living room

DONT use the trashcan for a test tank on the outboard

DONT tune the jet-ski's in the swimming pool

DONT track in metal shavings through the house

DONT run 927 within a block of the house

DONT eat cat shit and want a kiss...Duece said that not me!

AND BY ALL MEANS...dont do a ground up restoration on a Porsche and take her parking spot in the garage for 2 years...Jim

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when he stood up and put his feet on your shoulders he was like shauq, just a big giant moron, but what a fun dog, i sure miss him.....

Dogs kick ass for that very reason. They are like big retarded kids that like to play alot. I guess I'm no different. Im amused by simple stupid shit like a tennis ball. :blink:

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If you do get to watch Crank Yankers or the Dave Chapelle show, don't laugh.

i've noticed, this when my and my dad are watching something "why isent the kitchen cleaned up, can you fix this, clean off the tabel, i think the dog has to go out, when did this come in the mail, who called today"

 

when my mom is watching something.... "where's the news paper?" "THIS IS A NEW EPISODE HOW AM I SPOSED TO EVEN KNOW WHATS GOING ON BENING INTURPTED LIKE THIS ALL YOU WANA DO IS WATCH YOUR STUPID SHOWS CANT I GET A COUPEL HOURS OF PEACE WHILE MINE ARE ON, WHATS WRONG WITH YOU? DID YOU EVEN CLEAN OFF THAT TABEL YET? NOW SEE YOU MADE ME MISS IT!!"

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