bonbon Posted May 4, 2010 Report Share Posted May 4, 2010 Adobe Flash runs on Chuck Norris' iPhone Chuck Norris can surf the net on his abacus hahahhahahahhahhahaha shit that's a good one Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fastbanshee8 Posted May 4, 2010 Report Share Posted May 4, 2010 Chuck Norris does not kick ass, and take names. In fact, Chuck Norris kicks ass, and assigns the corpse a number. It is currently recorded to be in the billions. Chuck Norris plays racquetball with a waffle iron, and a bowling ball. The only sure things are Death, and Taxes.....and when Chuck Norris goes to work for the IRS, they'll be the same thing. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
banshee#44 Posted May 8, 2010 Report Share Posted May 8, 2010 In ancient China there is a legend that one day a child will be born from a dragon, grow to be a man, and vanquish evil from the land. That man is not Chuck Norris, because Chuck Norris killed that man Chuck Norris is not capable of hitting a target on the broad side of a barn. Every time he tries, the whole damn barn falls down. Chuck Norris wipes his ass with chain mail and sandpaper. Chuck Norris eats beef jerky and craps gunpowder. Then, he uses that gunpowder to make a bullet, which he uses to kill a cow and make more beef jerky. Some people refer to this as the "Circle of Life." The only sure things are Death and Taxes…and when Chuck Norris goes to work for the IRS, they'll be the same thing. . Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sandfrk33 Posted May 8, 2010 Report Share Posted May 8, 2010 When Chuck Norris wants an egg, he cracks open a chicken. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MN SHEE Posted May 8, 2010 Report Share Posted May 8, 2010 this shit is to funny cant stop thinking about it Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sand_man67 Posted May 11, 2010 Report Share Posted May 11, 2010 There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of animals Chuck Norris allows to live. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RedStrapperRacing Posted May 22, 2010 Report Share Posted May 22, 2010 This is funny as hell - great lmfao Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
baudy Posted May 24, 2010 Report Share Posted May 24, 2010 Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month. Chuck Norris once ate three 72 oz. steaks in one hour. He spent the first 45 minutes having sex with his waitress. Filming on location for Walker: Texas Ranger, Chuck Norris brought a stillborn baby lamb back to life by giving it a prolonged beard rub. Shortly after the farm animal sprang back to life and a crowd had gathered, Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked the animal, breaking its neck, to remind the crew once more that Chuck giveth, and the good Chuck, he taketh away. Chuck Norris was the fourth Wiseman. He brought baby Jesus the gift of "beard". Jesus wore it proudly to his dying day. The other Wisemen, jealous of Jesus' obvious gift favoritism, used their combined influence to have Chuck omitted from the Bible. Shortly after all three died of roundhouse kick related deaths. Chuck Norris is not hung like a horse... horses are hung like Chuck Norris. Before each filming of Walker: Texas Ranger, Chuck Norris is injected with five times the lethal dose of elephant tranquilzer. This is, of course, to limit his strength and mobility, in an attempt to lower the fatality rate of the actors he fights. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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